6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Keep Your Child’s Baby Teeth
Jewelry box of baby teeth
As a professional organizer in Los Angeles since 2014, I feel very strongly about this…No one should keep their child’s baby teeth. Here’s why…
It’s creepy, it’s gross, and nobody cares. I can’t tell you how often I find I find them, or I guess I can - often! I find them in apartments and I’ll find them in 18 million dollar mansions. In kitchen drawers, bedside drawers, in closets, in shoe boxes, fireplace mantels, and once in the fridge (that person was wildly misinformed). No matter where I find them, it always takes the wind out of my sails. I start questioning what I’m doing with my life… moving bits of children’s bones around…Googling “pretty boxes for tooth storage.” The years fly by but the teeth keep coming, like the mail. I look in the mirror and notice the lines on my face deepening. I look at my teeth and see them chipping away. I’m not a young woman anymore.
There’s no reason to keep teeth! You won’t be showing them off to guests at dinner parties. These teeth won’t be displayed in museums, unless you did something really cool or really bad. Get rid of them!
If you’re house burns down, you won’t be including them in the insurance claim BECAUSE THEY ARE WORTHLESS! Sentimentality will always end up costing you a fortune…and possibly, your sanity. Have you seen HOARDERS? Those people treat teeth like gold bars - insane!
I promise you, your children won’t care that you’ve kept their teeth, and it will be one more reason that they resent you…One day, after you’ve died and they are sifting through your stuff, they will find their old teeth. After be jolted out of their grief, they might say “awwww.” Now they can’t throw their old bones, so they stuff them into their pants pocket “for now” and figure it out later. Cut to me finding them on the top of their fridge in a zip lock bag.
If we all kept our relatives’ teeth, we’d have to have rooms solely devoted to storing teeth, teeth rooms…rooms full of teeth…the stuff of nightmares!
My clients all come to know that I hate most things considered normal by the rest of society…Christmas, religion, the government, Valentine’s Day, children, etc etc but the Tooth Fairy has to be the creepiest of them all… you tell your child to put the tooth their body has just rejected under their pillow and in the dead of night a stranger will come into their room and put their hand under the pillow, while their head is still on it, take the tooth and leave an unnegotiated sum of money, without saying a word or making a sound. No thank you!
SOLUTION: Let your child chuck their old teeth into the backyard to be best case scenario used as a summer home by a family of fleas! The end.
This guy must be raking it in
Box-o-Teeth
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Xo
Lisa
P.S. FULL DISCLOSURE: Here’s a pretty good reason to keep teeth that I found after writing this article.
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